What if Molecules Ruled the World?
by control x alt x delete
Summary: Random short stories about how life would be if molecules really did rule the world. Chapter Two: Seeking Revenge
1. Intro: Questions

What if molecules ruled the world?

Often I ask myself this question. How much different would life be? Would life even be life, really? Or would we even exist?

What is existence?

And who is 'we'? Human beings, or shinigami, or ninja?

Or maybe none of the above. Perhaps, extra terrestrials, or vampires, or werewolves.

Elves, dwarves, gnomes, fairies.

Simple objects, or insects, or animals?

Perhaps we will truly never know the answers to all these questions.

But....

What if molecules really did rule the world?


	2. One: Yuukimaru Becomes King

_No one really knows why happy face stickers look so smug..._

_The truth has been kept secret..._

_For generations and generations..._

_But now..._

_The world will know of the astounding truth..._

_Remember,_

_Never trust happy face stickers._

**Orochimaru's 4051st Hideout**

"Kabuto-kun, get in here at once!"

"Yes, Orochimaru-sama!" I rise to my feet and enter my master's room. "What is it, Orochimaru-sama?"

"Is the potion ready yet?" It's easy to hear the irritation and impatience in his voice.

"Not quite. I still have a few more things to take care of–" Just then, Yuukimaru rushes into the room.

"Look, Kabuto! Look what I found!" Sounding as excited as Orochimaru does annoyed, he waves a sheet with colourful circles on it in the air.

A mental groan. Why does this idiot always have to interrupt?

I take the sheet, adjusting my glasses to stay calm. He never seizes to amaze me with ways to annoy me. I find, not much to my amazement, rainbow happy face stickers.

"How thoughtful."

Yuukimaru nods and smiles. "Do you like them, Kabuto?"

"Yes, Yuukimaru. Arigato." I turn back to Orochimaru to explain, but he's already disappeared into his comfortable chair. Pfft. How ungrateful. He gets a nice padded, soft chair with felt arm rests and I get a wooden stool. Gah.

"Right..." I mutter, turning instead towards my laboratory. "I'll get started on that potion, then."

In my peripheral vision, I see Yuukimaru bound over to Orochimaru's chair.

**Kabuto's Laboratory**

Ahh, my laboratory. It's so peaceful in here. I wish I could stay in here forever.

Unfortunately, I have _the _most ungrateful master in the world. Even Sasori was kinder than this. Sasuke better hurry up and kill him already.

I place the sticker sheet on my desk and set to work on Orochimaru's potion.

**Meanwhile, in Orochimaru's Living Room**

"Orochimaru-sama, why do we always move places? It's really confusing."

I hope Kabuto finishes that potion soon, so I can rid myself of this annoying child.

"Because, Yuukimaru-kun, we're playing hide-and-seek with the other ninja. We can't be caught, or that would ruin the game."

"Oooooh."

It's quiet for a while, and then he begins chattering once more.

I do my best to stay calm, my smile unwavering.

**Kabuto's Laboratory, Fifteen Minutes Later**

I've done it! I've finally completed the potion. Maybe now Orochimaru-sama can actually thank me for once.

I turn around to test my creation, when I hear someone call my name.

"Kabuto! Kabuto! Guess what!"

Boom.

**Kabuto's Laboratory, Yuukimaru's Point of View**

I just got the best news from Orochimaru-sama! He says that we get to move again, and discover more interesting things! We're bound to win the hide-and-seek game! I just know it!

I pull open the door as fast as I can, and start running toward Kabuto. "Kabuto! Kabuto! Guess what!"

I hear a loud noise, and then the room starts spinning. I'm not exactly sure what's happening, but I hear glass break and desperate footsteps by my head.

All of the sudden, I'm back on my feet, and Kabuto his holding me by my shirt collar. "Look what you've done now! I've worked on that potion for days, and now it's ruined!"

I've never seen him so mad before, and it's scary. I look over at where I heard the glass break curiously. "The stickers," I say simply, pointing.

Uh, oh... this isn't good.

**Kabuto's Laboratory, Kabuto's Point of View**

Damn. This is not good.

Let me list the reasons.

One, the potion I've been working on for weeks is dripping all over my desk.

Second, my only desk is ruined, along with my lab.

Third, on my ruined desk, is an army of rainbow happy face stickers.

Fourth, the army's advancing.

**Unknown Location, a Week Later**

They've captured us. The happy face stickers.

And we're all powerless to stop them.

All of us except Yuukimaru, who has become their king.

"I can't hurt them," he says. "They're my friends. And now I finally have a home."

Now Orochimaru, Sasuke, and I, sit tied to each other (how unprofessional!) while Yuukimaru sits in his throne made out of stickers.

It's amazing how strong stickers can really be when they're layered. They call it the Sticker Layering Jutsu.

His army of chakra-draining stickers are all over us, practically eating us for dinner.

Which reminds me, what are we supposed to eat for dinner?


	3. Two: Seeking Revenge

**Thanks to Karasu Chiyuki [1773215] for letting me borrow her OC for this fanfic.**

**Check out her stories sometime.**

**Enjoy.**

_Who'd of ever thought that molecules would rule the world? After all, it seems highly unlikely._

_For one thing, they aren't even alive. Microscopic little inanimate objects that possess energy and vibrate like there's no tomorrow._

_How strange._

_Anyway, this is another random tale about how molecules (somehow) took over the world._

_A portion of it, at any rate._

Sigh. How boring these summer days are.

When I'm not finishing missions for Konoha, or reading manga to pass the time, I'm sharpening my kunai and training. How much fun.

It's a funny story, really, how this all happened.

Here I was, innocently cleaning the dried blood off of my ninja tools, when Sakura happens to stroll by. _Ah, well,_ I figure, _I could use a bit of company._ Although I find her rather irritating, I invite her to sit down with me and she gladly obliges. _At least until someone less annoying comes by,_ I decide.

We talk for a while—potions, herbs, blah, blah, blah, before she decides that she must be off. I can't help but feel relieved that she's gone, but a feeling of foreboding washes over me. Weird.

I look down and realize that I hadn't made any progress cleaning my tools. I scowl, annoyed at how much time I'd wasted. After a while, I notice that there's a strange bottle sitting beside my leg. Curious, I pick it up and read the label. The words "Haruno Sakura's Patented Kunai Shiner" are written messily on a piece of tape.

Instinctively, without thinking, I stuff my gear into my pouch and start looking around for my pink-haired friend. Well, I don't really consider her to be one of my friends. But you know what I mean.

She's already gone... _typical_. Things were working out too well for my luck to continue.

_It's getting late,_ I realize. _I'll just return it to her tomorrow._ Deciding to go with that plan, I gather the rest of my stuff and head toward home, sweet home.

* * *

Lying on my bed, I can't help but wonder if it really works. My kunai _are_ getting pretty dull...

_Yes!_ I decide, bolting upright. _If I test it out now, when I give it back to her I can give her some positive feedback. Or some not-so-positive feedback. Either way..._

And that's when it all went wrong.

See, there I was, completely convinced that my plan would work. I'd gone through every possible scenario in my head. My plan was fool-proof. And the best part? No matter what happened, I would still benefit from my little scheme. Or so I thought. And then the unexpected happened.

But, I guess what they say is something you should really pay attention to. _Always_ expect the unexpected. I don't know how that is humanly possible, but, some idiot mustn't have thought it through very well before creating the expression.

So, anyway. There I am, polishing my kunai, when I hear the doorbell ring. It's not like my kunai'll run off on me, so I calmly go to answer the door.

Not-so-surprisingly, it's little miss fangirl. I put on a fake grin and greet her. "Hey, Haruno. What's up?"

"I think I forgot a bottle of kunai shiner when we were talking earlier. It had a label on it, "Haruno Sakura's Patented Kunai Shiner", you know? I also brought some cookies 'cause, you can't go wrong with cookies."

...man, her pink hair is _bright_. It's probably not even natural. Nevertheless, I lead her in. Not to be nice, or anything, but I like cookies. And you can't go wrong with cookies.

* * *

Meanwhile, in the hostess's room, the unexpected was happening. Slowly, each of the recently-shined kunai rose from their positions on the dresser and stretched out their stiff metal blades, realizing for the first time that they were hungry. And to soothe their hunger, a little evil scheme couldn't hurt.

"I ssssmell cookiessss..." hissed one of the kunai, and its comerades jumped in excitement. "Where, brother? Lead ussss to them!" called one of the kunai.

* * *

Ick... I thought it was impossible to go wrong with cookies. But, apparently, it's possible. When your name is Haruno Sakura, at any rate.

"They're healthy cookies," she explained. Not that I was listening. "Designed to keep you healthy, and content. And, well, you can't go wrong with cookies!" she giggled.

Ehhhh! _Wrong._ You went wrong with the cookies as soon as you decided they should be green in colour.

"Yeah, they're great." I manage. It's essential that I keep on her good side, because my kunai looked really shiny after using her bottle of shiner. I'm not sure how much longer I can handle with this act, though. "I'll just put the cookies on the floor so I.. don't eat them all right away. Because they're all so delicious." she nods, as gullible as ever.

A few minutes later, I hear some angry voices.

"What issss thissss, brother?"

"I feel like my tongue'ssss on fire!"

"Who hassss done thissss? Revenge! We musssst sssseek revenge!"

Suddenly, a big river of kunai rises onto the top of the table... kunai? My kunai? WHAT.... MY _KUNAI_! "Sakura! Look what your stupid kunai shiner has done to my precious kunai!"

Sakura screams, obviously unable to answer my question because she's not mentally here at the moment. Please leave a message after the beep.

"Who made thesssse cookiessss?" demands what appears to be the leader.

"Her." I say angrily, pointing toward Sakura, who still looks out of it.

The army starts to advance.

* * *

_I was overthrown by my own kunai._

It's such a tragic thought. No, make that a pathetic thought. I'll punch Sakura's face in once I get the chance. And I will definitely look forward to that chance.

"Why the hell'd you tie _me_ up, too, you stupid little butterknives?" I demand, trying to kick the leader. All I get in response is one of his warriors stabbing himself into my leg. Jeez. You can't even touch these guys.

"You be her friend." the lead-kunoi explains.

This is hopeless.

Here's a tip: never, ever, in your entire life, or lives, accept food from a girl named Haruno Sakura.


End file.
